Yesterday marked one month that I’ve been
in Brazil. I have written much on this blog, mostly because of the amount of
reflecting I’ve been going through over the past few weeks.
Everyone reflects at some point in their
life (or I’d like to hope), ‘what do I hope to achieve with my life?’, ‘where
do I hope to go?’, ‘what will I stand up for?’, ‘how will my life be
meaningful?’. But then it seems, borrowing Green Day’s lyrics:
‘life grabs us by the wrist and directs us where to go’. What’s really grabbing
you is a job, school, relationships, routines. This gives you a temporary pause
on self-reflection. Because after all life must go on.
But self-reflection is what defines how you
interact in this show called life. How you perceive the different relationships
in your life and the activities in which you partake. With enough
self-reflection, a kind of paradigm shift occurs in the individual. A shift in
perception, a shift in values which makes all the difference in life. While you
still have your responsibilities in life: you begin to see them in a new light,
making them a joy rather than a boring task. In a sense, is as if when life
grabs you the wrist to direct where to go, you hold her hand, and consciously
taking the next step forward with her, and taking the more scenic route. Living
in the moments.
So here, without my Canadian friends and
family, without a job, school or anykind of course and with a house to stay in,
delicious food to eat, all my basic living necessities covered, well I’m left
with the privilege of having hours upon hours
of free time. Self-reflection becomes inevitable.
Further prompting this self-reflection was
the fact that I was rejected from two things which I was, well pretty confident
I would achieve. I went to a job
interview to teach English offshore on oil platforms, and after a great
interview, found out I was rejected. I also had applied to be a part of Canada
World Youth’s core group of 20 individuals to attend Rio +20 Earth Summit…20
years after the initial Earth summit in Rio in ’92. Also got rejected.
So without a job (or the prospect of one) to
keep my occupied, or a conference to start preparing for, well I got thrown back
into deeper self-reflection. Which actually ended up being a good thing because I started realizing some tough stuff about myself and some changes I want to make. I’ve
written them out in my journal but I’m not going to share the conclusions that I came up
with on the blog. One, because I feel that they are too personal for this blog and; two,
because by sharing them I will somehow believe that that means I’m making the
changes I had decided upon. It’s oh so satisfying to share with people the ‘big
changes you want to make in your life’…because by sharing them it feels like
you’re halfway there. Well actions speak louder than words. So I would rather
share with you the concrete actions I take as I take them. Let’s see where they
take me.
And on another note, I haven’t only been
reflecting with all this free time. I think if I don’t describe the other
things I have been doing, you’ll get the wrong impression. As if I’m stuck in a
room just thinking. Of course, I have been taking advantage of the fine weather
and beautiful beaches. I’ve been biking, walking, swimming, surfing, reading,
writing, studying Portuguese….all at the beautiful beach here (20 min bike ride
from my grandmother’s place). I’ve been experimenting with fresh fruit
smoothies every morning. My latest concoction gives me plenty of energy and
tastes delicious: acai, guarana extract, mango and banana. Eating healthy
lunches at drinking coconut water at my aunt Laura’s place. Going out for trips
and delicious meals with my uncle Marnio and his family. Getting to know the
awesome and extremely large Miranda side of my family. Continuing with
Capoeira, doing a bit of yoga every morning.
It’s probably the best setting in the world
for some positive self-reflection to occur!
.murph.
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